8 steps to self-mastery

“No man is free who is not master of himself.”

• Epictetus

1.) Let the impulse pass

To begin on the path of self-mastery, you must first reckon with your most primal urges.

The urge to seize, feed, procreate, distract and pursue.

Are you a slave to such urges, constantly submitting to their plea?

The self-mastered rides the wave of such impulses and is able to wait and let the impulse pass. Further channelling the electrical energy from such pulses into fruitful actions which benefit their long-term self.

The desire to feed is met with patience. The desire to seize is met with frugality. The desire to distract is met with clarity and focus.

No man is free who acts like a monkey, possessed with acquiring all now.

So “let the first impulse pass, wait for a second.”

2.) Sexually discipline thyself

A war is waged everyday for your peace of mind, choice of virtue and the sustenance of the vital life force within you.

One constantly depleted of their life force becomes flaccid, languid and docile.

The desire to procreate, release, satisfy without love present is a tempting call which beckons from the sirens of lust. And the sirens are many.

The self-mastered understands this and guards their vibrant life force like a centurion at the gates of their master.

Do not heed the call of the sirens, for they are but mere skeletons below the surface.

Instead channel that overwhelming vivacity which reflects the depth of your soul in your eyes into your purpose.

3.) Make savage of the body and civilise the mind

“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”

Being sexually disciplined requires an outlet for the primal urges. And there’s no better place to channel them than physical savagery.

The self-mastered understands that one day they could be called upon. To save another, fight, defend or flee. And they don’t expect to be found wanting when that moment arises.

So they forge their earthly vessel with the same presence of mind with which Michalaneglo would work upon his material.

And this is where you craft your peace of mind, through having peace of body first.

4.) Slow down, think deeply

The world is like muddy water. To see through it, you must let it settle.

Absence of mind is what the self-mastered enjoys through the flow of activity, but when the time comes, they acquire the patience and stillness to pierce through to what’s really going on.

They let go.

And then they tune in.

Appearances are misleading and people often muddy the water to make it seem deep.

To see what matters you really have to look, think, ponder. But no one can get to satori going a million miles an hour. No.

…Think about what’s important to you.

…Think about what’s actually going on.

…Think about what might be hidden from view.

…Think about what the rest of the chessboard looks like.

…Search for the virtuous.

…Search for the good.

…Search for the opportunity.

5.) Don’t be passionate

The world beckons us to “be passionate! Go all in! Max out your credit cards in pursuit of your dreams!”

But to attain self-mastery you mustn’t sink your own ship before you’ve hardly left the harbour.

Self-mastery involves being dispassionate. Because extra emotions are a burden.

Passion operates no different than a child who needs to be kept a close eye on. Passion calls us to be the “firstest with the mostest”, to promise a grand plan and act on pure excitement. Who needs patience? It reasons. Let’s conquer now.

Napoleon was brimming with passion as he contemplated invading Russia and only relinquished the power his passion had over him when he returned to France with a fraction of the men he travelled with.

So when the song of passion calls, steady yourself. Calm down.

The self-mastered does not promise who they intend to be or what they wish to achieve because they understand: you cannot promise what you don’t yet have.

Passion is about. Purpose is to and for.

Passion argues: “I am passionate about…” Purpose decides (I was put on this earth for ____. I am willing to endure ______. I must do ______.)

Purpose removes the I involved. It promotes realism, detachment, perspective, clarity.

Passion creates untrammelled positive emotion, rashness, burnout.

You need patience, not passion, to do work which lasts and that makes an impact.

The self-mastered understands this.

“Above all, not too much zeal.”

6.) Bite your tongue

The passionate talk. The self-mastered listens.

The latter also speaks as if their reality is manifested by their words. So they guard against lofty promises, futile chatter and egotistic celebration.

Self-mastery promotes confidence, which is the only thing which can sustain you in your appreciation of self.

The self-mastered guards against ego in every opportunity, because ego wants the talking to be the work and to be recognised, to be at the forefront of all effort.

Confidence stills the self-mastered because it is earned. It comes from doing the right thing, acting with virtue, making the choice of discipline and consistency.

Self-mastery in this aspect brings tranquility, because when you bite your tongue, you do and learn more. And when you’re doing the right thing, you don’t have to worry about someone finding out.

7.) Conquer your anger

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”

A common argument is raised by some.

Is anger a fuel to rely on or a nuisance to banish completely?

The answer is neither black nor white, because anger is an emotion which can beset all of us.

But one thing for sure is those who achieve success through anger are never content.

What good does it do a boxer to conquer his component but to then be conquered by his anger?

“The reward for becoming world-class should not be that you are a walking open wound, a trigger that’s pulled a thousand times a day.”

So to attain self-mastery you must soothe your anger and instead cultivate purpose and love.

Rarely do we respect a leader who embodies anger. Rather we respect leaders who personify love, such as Martin Luther King Jr.

The self-mastered channels their anger through their physical savagery, and leave it there, so they can protect others and their loved ones from the enticing grip of wrath.

“There is no more stupefying thing than anger, nothing more bent on its own strength. If successful, none more arrogant, if foiled, none more insane - since it’s not driven back by weariness even in defeat, when fortune removes its adversary it turns its teeth on itself.”

8.) Practice poverty

Occasionally the self-mastered rejects the world of pleasures and instead ascends to the humility of intentional poverty.

“The path that leads to pleasures is the downward one: the upward climb is the one that takes us to rugged and difficult ground.”

• Seneca

To finalise self-mastery you must understand that continuous engagement in pleasure exacts more demands on fortune. You will want more and gradually reckon with more primal urges, each one taking a taxing toll on your presence of mind.

Instead, the self-mastered occasionally eats cheap, simple food. Sleeps on the floor away from the luxury of a soft mattress. Embraces harsh weather instead of wrapping up in preparation. And endures hunger for long periods of time.

Because the self-mastered understands; the exact things we fear (hardship, trial, privation) are the same things which add meaning to our prosperity.

Thank you for reading.