The 1 Mindset I Wish I Had 5 Years Ago

I don’t live with many regrets.

“Everything happens for a reason” and all that.

But sometimes regrets can serve as powerful instructions for what to do or not to do in the future.

When I was 18 years old I wanted to travel the world as a backpacker until I was 25. Maybe open my own hostel, meet a lovely Spanish woman and eventually settle down.

But 5 years later, now I’m 23, I’ve realised that although I thought I had a 7 year plan at 18, if anyone would have prodded at that plan we would have realised it was vague and didn’t account for the years after I was 25.

There’s a mindset I have now which I would’ve loved to have 7 years ago. It would’ve helped me avoid many pitfalls, some depressive ruts and many decision making crossroads.

But again, “everything happens for a reason and all that.”

The mindset I wish I had earlier is the infinite game mindset.

Distillation:

In his book the infinite game, Simon Sinek differentiates between two types of games we can play in life.

Infinite and finite games.

A finite game has known players, a set of rules and a clear beginning and end.

A 90 minute football game, a money centred business structure only built to last the next three years or being in a relationship with someone you don’t love are all finite games.

Also consider the specific example of going to university for 3 years just to get a certificate to put on your CV instead of actually learning. That’s about as finite as finite games get.

An infinite game, however, has no time horizon and no end to the game. It’s impossible to “win” an infinite game because the main objective is to continue playing the game. Infinite games have infinite time horizons.

So in an infinite game the goal isn’t to get married, it’s to stay married. The goal isn’t to get a six pack, it’s to stay healthy. The goal isn’t to complete your degree, it’s to stay a life-long student.

Perhaps it would’ve been too much to ask of my 18 year old self to adopt this mindset. But the tranquility it brings is incredible because we live in a world where most people are playing finite games.

The key difference between finite and infinite games is the time horizon.

In an infinite game, the game carries on regardless of the expiration of the players (ie. Your death). So the old adage that “wise men plant trees for a shade they’ll never sit in” is a brilliant description of an infinite game.

Sinek says there are 5 elements of the infinite game:

• Advancing a just cause
• Building trusting teams
• Studying your worthy rivals
• Preparing for existential flexibility
• Demonstrating the courage to lead
  

But in the next few minutes we’re just going to zoom in on the first part; advance a just cause.

“A just cause is a specific vision of a future state that does not yet exist; a future state so appealing that people are willing to make sacrifices in order to help advance towards that mission.” Simon Sinek

A just cause is different from a WHY.

A WHY is like the foundation of a house, the starting point. It gives what’s built upon it a solid structure and strength. Our just cause is the ideal vision of the house we hope to build.

Sinek says we can work a lifetime to build the house and it still won’t be finished. However, the results of our work will give form to the house.

Think about the apparent “just cause” of most companies or people on the internet: “to offer the highest quality products at the best possible value.” Statements like this are egocentric and describe nothing about the future state this company wants to build.

An infinite just cause must be 5 things:

• For something (affirmative and optimistic)
• Inclusive (open to all those who would like to contribute)
• Service oriented (for the primary benefit of others)
• Resilient (able to endure change)
• Idealistic (big, bold and ultimately unachievable)
  

Affirmative & optimistic:

An example of a finite game is to fight against poverty.

It gives us the impression we can win against an enemy.

What if we changed it to “fighting for the right for every human to provide for their own family”?

Inclusive:

Secondly, your just cause must serve as an invitation to others to join advancing a cause bigger than all of you.

And when people join a just cause they don’t show up to get, they show up to give. An inclusive just cause paints a clear picture of the impact it intends to have on the world.

Think of most jobs you apply for, they all read “we’re looking for passionate people”. But what the hell does that mean? Everyone is passionate about something?

Service oriented:

A just cause involves two parties; the givers and the beneficiaries.

“If we are the sole beneficiaries of our work, that’s not a just cause, that’s a vanity project.” - Simon Sinek

Resilient:

Publishers who saw themselves as book sellers rather than idea sharers missed the opportunity to make the next amazon kindle.

Music companies who saw themselves as CD sellers rather than sharers of music missed out on making their own services like iTunes or Spotify.

A just cause does not centre around a product. Products are fragile and can be wiped out over night with new advancements from technology.

A just cause can withstand crisis, is adaptable, resilient and timeless.

Idealistic:

A just cause is like an iceberg. All we see is the tip; what’s already been created.

But no matter how much success we achieve, the just cause always lies ahead, not behind.

Self improvement:

So how can we apply this idea to self-improvement?

We all know the unsettling feeling of accomplishment and dissatisfaction after completing a goal.

You feel happy because you’ve achieved it but depressed and anxious 2 days later because you’re now struck with the thought of “oh damn, what do I do now?”

That’s what I was doing at 18, going from finite game to finite game, having to revisit the same planning process after completing each one.

“Simply choosing another big, audacious goal is not infinite play, it’s just another finite pursuit.” Simon Sinek

But if I would’ve have been courageous enough to have expanded my time horizon not into 3,4,5 years time but decades into the future, and figure out what infinite games I’m playing, that’d would have been incredible.

I remember watching a clip 2 years ago from Jordan Peterson and he said “pursue a goal you can’t achieve”. And it instantly resonated with me so I wrote it down.

And as I looked at those words on that posit note the next few days it scared the hell out of me, because we’re obsessed with this idea of completion!

I say most people play finite games because all you need to do is go on social media and look at what they’re doing. They work towards something, complete it and post a photo or video to show everyone they’ve completed it!

People’s time frames have narrowed into impulsivity which is why thinking decades long (infinitely) scares people.

“Oh no! But I won’t have immediate results to show other people!”

Lose your vanity and realise that when you’re playing an infinite game which is bigger than you, you wake up every single day knowing exactly what needs to be done, you go to bed each night with a satisfying smile on your face, you carry a bounce of grounded structure in your step and on your death bed you’ll reflect on a life well lived.

And if you did well to build your just cause then you can rest assured knowing others will continue your work.

Here are some examples of infinite games I’m playing:

I choose to play the infinite game of helping other people feel value & to improve their lives through my ability to listen, share ideas and communicate.

The best example of an infinite game is the declaration of independence in America which was signed in 1776 by the founders of America to upkeep the view that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

That’s a vision that is still upheld today. It outlasted it founders.

So find your infinite game, and serve it.