The Severity of Missed Potential

The writer Dan Sullivan describes hell as:

"Your last day on Earth, [where] the person you became meets the person you could have become".

To me, this quote epitomises the sobering reality of missed potential and the dangers of not giving your best. It reminds me of a thought experiment that my cousin and I would think about, one which sticks in my mind to this day.

Imagine you are on your death bed looking back at your life that you have lived. Knowing you are about to leave this world forever, reflect on your life lived and ask yourself three questions:

What did I miss out on?

What were the things I cared so much about that now seem fruitless in the grand scheme of things?

Was there anything I didn't do through fear of ridicule?

Although this sounds like a bleak exercise, it should actually be revitalising provided we are at a point where we can turn things around.

Also, by placing ourselves in the third act, we are reminded of our finitude, putting everything into perspective. The Greeks shared this sentiment, coining the Latin phrase "Memento Mori" which translates to "remember you must die". This realisation should not send us into a pit of despair but rather invigorate us to act on the things we know we should be doing but are too afraid to do.

We may not necessarily be afraid either. Too often we put tasks that need doing on hold, believing we have all the time in the world. H.G Baynes calls this living “the provisional life”, living life as if it has not started yet; just a dress rehearsal.

This neurosis makes you prone to overthinking, in turn living a life of inaction. In the book "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, Douglas Gilette and Robert Moore call this individual an "armchair adventurer". In their words:

"Through fear of making the wrong decision he makes none, he only sits on the rock and thinks, [he is] an “Armchair adventurer”.

In other words, what scares an individual into this paralyzed state of mind is the fear of committing themselves. They are scared to choose as to commit to something is to run the risk of failure. What this fear-ridden individual fails to see here is how this passive non-committal existence of inactivity is also a choice.

In other words, what you are not changing, you are choosing, as to abstain from a decision is also a choice.

It also nullifies your own essence and is a sentiment shared by the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu in his well-known work the “Tao Te Ching”. He writes:

“One who excels in safeguarding his own life does not meet with the rhinoceros or tiger when travelling on land nor is he touched by weapons when charging into an army”.

In our immersive lives, we have tunnel vision and we rarely grasp the full picture.

To combat this we must make it a habit to remind ourselves of our finitude. Looking up at the sky can fill us with this reality, as its sheer scale compared to us can help keep our delusions of grandeur at bay.

This exercise is also what the philosopher Albert Camus preached. He advised that whenever you're feeling anxious and are overthinking things, think about the absurdity of life, e.g. how many people there are and how little you are in comparison.

Of course this can fill you with feelings of dread, meaninglessness and anguish. However, it is possible to re-frame this meaninglessness in a positive way. In my upcoming book I wrote a passage unpacking Camus' perspective in which he incorporates the famous Myth of Sisyphus to explain his point:

"In adulthood, we must accept that suffering is an inevitability and a requirement in life before we begin to integrate our lost inner child. If one needs further encouragement then the French philosopher Albert Camus offers a practical interpretation of the Greek Myth of Sisyphus. If you are not aware of the Myth, the tyrant Sisyphus is condemned by the Gods and forced to roll a boulder up a hill for eternity, with the boulder rolling down every time it gets near the top.

Camus explains that this is a metaphor for our life; however, it needs re-framing. Instead of seeing Sisyphus as being unhappy with his punishment, Camus asks us to re-consider and instead view him as being happy. This is because as Camus puts it, “the struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart”. Therefore, like Sisyphus, we should put on a brave face and accept that the persistent struggle we endure is an absurdity of life."

To bring this full circle back to the severity of missed potential, here is a bonus excerpt, with a quote from Leonardo Da Vinci, the famous polymath who viewed life as a quest for knowledge:

(Sorry for the shameless plug)

“I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto death”.

At first glance “Little mind” may sound demeaning; however, I find this to not be the case. It speaks to a fear we are all capable of having and it stems from the seemingly insurmountable burden of one’s potential. In other words, it is not our weakness which causes our “little minds to shrink”, but rather our potential for greatness. This is reinforced by Marianne Williamson in her book “A Return to Love” when she says:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us”.

There is nothing more crippling to overcome than missed potential and the fear of not trying should supply us with sufficient motivation to push through the illusions that are holding us back from being the best versions of ourselves.

Thanks for reading,

All the best,

Brandon