Amigos and amigas...

WE HAVE SUN!

In other news...

The big 3 newsletter is here!

1 mental health tip

1 social skills tip

1 personal reflection

Let's dive straight into this week's mental health tip...

1.) Walking

Going for a walk won't solve all your problems, but it will make you feel better.

And this week I've finally learned the neuroscience that explains why...

When you go for a walk your eyes are scanning your environment by moving from left to right (technically known as optokinetic nystagmus - lol try saying that after a few beers).

This scanning of the eyes activates a part of your brain call the frontoparietal network (see below) which is responsible for attention, complex problem solving and working memory.

But here's the cool thing...

This brain region competes for resources with your amygdala (the part of your brain responsible for processing emotions such as anxiety) and shuts it down.

So by taking a leisurely walk you're calming yourself down and facilitating problem solving because the more your frontoparietal network is activated the less your amygdala is activated.

Win-bloody-win if you ask me.

The bigger picture...

In 1987 a psychologist called Francine Shapiro noticed the intensity of her disturbing thoughts and memories decreased whenever she thought about them while on a walk.

She then founded a type of therapy called rapid eye movement therapy (also known as EMDR - eye movement desensitisation therapy) to help people deal with PTSD. This form of therapy has proven extremely successful and is still used to this day.

So by going on a walk, you're essentially being your own EMDR therapist.

But note...

As Susan Greenfield highlights in her book a day in the life of the brain, walking down a busy urban street in a big city like London or New York will activate your amygdala because you'll be in a reactive state. Whereas walking in nature will calm down your amygdala because you'll be in a restorative state.

In other words...

Busy city = threatening.

Nature = non-threatening.

So choose where you walk wisely. (If you can, if not; any walking is better than none).

And my questions to you are...

- How could you incorporate walking more into your life?

- What times throughout the day could be best for you to take a walk?

- Is there something you're struggling with right now that you could soothe with a walk?

Go deeper:

- If you'd like to see a live demonstration of EMDR therapy from a trauma expert, skip to 58:46 in this podcast.

Now let's cover this week's social skills tip...

2.) Give people material

Sometime last year I was with my dad in a small town in Kent called Rye.

We'd just been to a brilliant burger restaurant together and we were walking around the town before driving back to Maidstone.

It was pitch black outside and most of the shops were closed but one shop was open; an old antiques shop.

So I walked in first but I felt a bit awkward. Antique shops are different from commercial shops; they're smaller, more informal and the owners usually like having a conversation, but I wasn't feeling very social.

So as I walked into the shop, I saw a man standing behind the counter and he looked up at me and asked the standard: "hiya, how are you?"

To which, without thinking about it, I answered; "hi! Good thanks. We've just been to that burger restaurant around the corner. It was really good actually."

Happy with my answer he then went on to tell me about the best restaurants in the area and what its like to live there.

Cut to 1 hour later and we were still in the shop having a conversation.

The bottom line...

Most of the time, when someone asks you a boring generic question such as "how are you?" or "where are you from?" or "what you been up to today?" what they're secretly saying to themselves in their head is...

"My god, PLEASE tell me something slightly interesting that allows us to ACTUALLY have an interesting conversation rather than a boring back and forth of one word answers. PLEASE!"

So keep this in mind the next time someone asks you something simple.

Give them material by giving a more-thoughtful-than-usual answer.

It doesn't have to be a lot. Just something for them to work with.

For example:

- How are you? = Good thanks, although a bit tired from yesterday because I was at the gym.

- Where are you from? = I'm from the UK but to be honest I'd love to live somewhere a bit sunnier. Any recommendations?

- What you been up to today? = To be honest, not a lot. But I'm looking forward to next weekend though because I'm going to Italy!

Make them glad they asked you the question.

Now let's finalise with this week's personal realisation...

3.) Responsibility

If you've been a fan of this newsletter for a while, you might have noticed a theme with my personal realisations.

They're either about:

- Something creative

- Something to do with habits

- Something very simple I think it's worth being reminded of

But this week's personal realisation is something much harsher I can't stop thinking about...

Everything is your responsibility.

Yes.

Everything.

There have been numerous situations over the past few weeks that have made a voice in my head, much like a friend who warned me not to do something only to see me do it then raise their eyebrows at me, say; "well, we knew this was going to happen. It's no one's fault but your own."

For example:

- Waking up and realising there's no food in the house; "well, you could've realised this sooner and done a food shop."

- Seeing the money decrease in a stock I've invested in; "well, you put the money in there."

- Growing disheartened at the speed at which the digital products I'm making are coming together; "well, you're the one who decides what you work on."

But although those messages might sound hurtful and depressing, for me they've been a huge source of liberation.

Because I've been able to see; everything begins and ends with me.

If I'm responsible for all the bad stuff in my life I don't like, then I'm also responsible for changing it. And I can do so at any moment I choose.

It's cringey, cliche and we've all heard it millions of times, but when it sinks in, it's powerful.

As the neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett says;

"Sometimes we’re responsible for things not because they’re our fault, but because we’re the only ones who can change them."

So my questions to you are...

- In what areas of your life are you avoiding taking responsibility?

- Your finances? Relationships? Health? Work?

- How freeing could it be to take responsibility for those things?

- How much better could your life be 6 months from now if you did?

That's all for this week.

Thanks for reading,

Lew

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