Our Imperfect Nature And Why We Should Embrace It
Let's begin by unpacking a statement: We are by nature imperfect beings
The validity of this statement is clear, we only have to look at our own actions to see the imperfect inconsistencies in our world. Even if we are impeccable with our word (one of the Don Miguel Ruiz' four agreements), there will be moments when we go against what we have said.
With the endless variables of a given situation, it may be a rational decision that prompts us to justify changing our perspective and going against a principle we have set out.
This is inevitable and no matter how impeccable we want to be, there will be grey areas with our decision making and we will make mistakes. Even well-meaning people miss the mark, it is natural as perfection is unattainable and imperfection is human.
Despite perfection being an impossibility, we can still convince ourselves it is a possible end goal and our innate drives for refinement can make us obsess over perfection regardless of its plausibility (or lack thereof).
If you see yourself as a perfectionist, your obsession will be at the detriment to your happiness and you will never be satisfied. Besides, things rarely go exactly how you expect.
If this awareness is amiss and you fail to execute something in front of others, you will panic and through trying to control the uncontrollable, you will end up making a mountain out of a molehill.
Therefore, if we get worked up over reaching this unattainable goal of perfection, we will be unprepared when things go awry, producing messy results. Panicking over something unexpected, demonstrates a lack of awareness of the unpredictable nature of our existence.
If we are susceptible to perfectionism, the following mantra can help, one that keeps us away from meddling; this is that less is more. Using an example to illustrate this, say you are a musician and you're struggling to create a song. The problem is almost always overcomplication; you are doing too much. Although we know it is better for the art to do less slowly, we can't resist obsessing over perfection and so we mess around frantically and aimlessly to unnaturally force a perfect outcome, getting nowhere as a result.
This example illustrates why we should let go of our need for perfection, favouring simplicity instead. Of course this is easier said than done; however, when we re-frame perfection so that it is not the be all and end all we become more receptive of the ideas that deserve attention as our calmer state of mind brings clarity.
If we cannot shake our perfectionist mindset and we want to change, a re-prioritisation is needed. Say we are struggling with an essay that is due next month, wanting it to be perfect is an unproductive expectation with its infallibility making it an insurmountable task that paralyzes us into a state of procrastination. In other words, perfection makes us demoralised, increasing the likelihood of us putting it off. Therefore, it can be said that to take imperfect action, is always better than taking no action at all. We go with version 1 knowing it can always be improved upon as it helps us to move forwards rather than staying stuck in the state of paralyzed perfection.
This justifies that a different approach is needed: We must prioritise consistent attendance over perfection. When we show up daily, perfection doesn't matter. It is more effective then to show up and produce less each time than it is to have irregular high-intensity days. Therefore, as long as we show up daily, perfection doesn’t matter. A good practice is to adopt a mantra along the lines of:
Take action every day, however small it may be, you are doing something every day to move it forwards.
However, there is a paradoxical nature to this concept of perfection, in that it is still in our best interests to strive for perfection despite our imperfect nature making it a fallacy. As long as we don't expect perfection, holding the unattainable nature of perfection in the distance, can be useful as it makes it a tangible concept to strive for.
Whether it is our own concept of our better perfect self, or an external model which exudes/embodies these virtues such as Jesus, developing this concept in our minds is beneficial as we will be oriented in the right direction. In other words, our path will be calibrated towards the highest good.
So far we have established that human behaviour's imperfect nature is unreliable and the fleeting moment and its many variables may make you go against what you initially said. However, what this fallacy should also justify, is the perilous nature of being absolute in a ever-changing world.
To be specific, when you say you will never do something, you remove any room for nuance and corner yourself in a box. When you do this, you are trying to mould a perfectly formed position in an imperfect formless world, in a vein attempt to control what can't be controlled. We control the uncontrollable out of a fear of trying to be perfect and so our progress is stunted, with our imperfect perfection model.
This is why you should refrain from proclaiming what type of person you are so as to litigate the amount of times this happens. As the Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote:
"Avoid excessive mentions of your own actions"
With this, Epictetus went further to recommend the following course of action:
"If you want to appear a certain way, appear to yourself and that should suffice".
If you fall prey to this and enjoy announcing what type of person you are, you are opening yourself up to hypocrisy. To an extent this hypocrisy is unavoidable as it is human nature to say one thing and do another. It is natural to do this, even well-meaning people go against what they previously asserted, it may not be maliciously charged.
However, what you can help is to refrain from vocalising everything out loud so that you do not look like a fool if you change your mind. You must remember how important your word is and understand that announcing something, no matter how trivial, is a declaration of intent. If you tell people you will now make going to the gym a habit and you miss a week, you appear at best unreliable and at worst hypocritical when you preach to others to do the same.
This also works when you say you are doing a good deed. As soon as you vocalise this on your own accord, it redacts the purity of the act as it loses its goodwill as soon as you announce it.
If we don't have an awareness of our own hypocrisies, we will be ignorant and resort to judging others for what we have also done in the past. Here is the issue with perfectionism, it gives us a holier-than-thou persona; one that negates our humanity and all its flaws.
This prevents us from connecting with others, as when we place ourselves on a pedestal, we look down on others who are less fortunate, causing our compassionate side to remain undeveloped. In other words, it is acknowledging our inadequacies that unlocks the human virtue of empathy.
It is only once we see our own hypocrisies I.e. where we fall short of the image we present to others, that allows for our self-righteousness to disappear. Once we make our imperfect nature conscious, we will no longer look down on the less fortunate and give back, filling our soul as a result.
The following quote by Jesus reminds us of our tendencies to hypocritically judge others for sins we have also commited but are not willing to admit.
"He who is without sin cast the first stone"
For context, Jesus says this to stop people from throwing stones at a sinner. As soon as he says this, they realise their own imperfect nature, making it obvious how hypocritical it would be to lament others for being sinful when they are also inherently flawed. When we are aware of our flawed nature, we can assimilate into our community, teaching us to be kinder to others when they fall short of the mark.
Therefore, if we expect perfection from ourselves, not only will we be dissatisfied, we will also project it onto others and judge them for their shortcomings.
Thanks for reading,
Brandon
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