7 ways to ensure no one likes or respects you

1.) Interrupt others

When listening to others, be sure to hijack what they’re saying when you’ve figured out what you think they’re going to say next.

Complete their sentences for them because you prioritise brevity. Never let someone complete their thoughts or what they want to say.

Why let someone finish their sentence when you could finish it for them? Showing them in the process you know better and your word is more valuable than theirs.

And if you do interrupt them to conclude their sentence but you misjudge the stream of their thoughts, who cares? At least you’re speaking now and the spotlight is on you.

2.) Only talk about yourself (and your accomplishments)

Speaking of the spotlight being on you, make sure when you talk it’s always about you.

What you’re doing in life, your accomplishments and worldviews.

Why revolve the conversation around someone else when you’re a lot more interesting?

Besides, if you revolve the conversation around them, you’ll have to listen more. How boring.

Even if someone asks a question unrelated to you, spin it round so it involves you in someway.

Bonus points if when someone is opening up to you and sharing a vulnerable story, you interrupt them by moving the spotlight from them to you.

3.) Act disinterested when listening

If on the odd chance you do decide to listen to someone, take every opportunity to show you don’t care.

Don’t hold eye contact, posture away from them, look at other things, rub your face and sigh.

The sigh should be enough, that should signal “this isn’t worth my time and I could be doing a million other things better than this like talking to myself in the mirror.”

Then the person you’re disinterestedly listening to will either stop talking so much or they’ll ask you a question based on what they’ve been talking about.

But you won’t know the answer, so make sure you just say “yeah” then get back to speaking about yourself.

Or you could take this one step further.

4.) Don’t listen at all

Whether someone is opening up to you, engaging in conversation or just talking to you, make sure you occupy your thoughts with what you want to say next.

That way you’ll have no space in your mind to pay attention to that and what they’re saying at the same time.

Anyway, why listen to someone else when you know best?

5.) Invalidate their feelings

Imagine you’re a dad and you’re asleep halfway through the night.

Suddenly your 5 year old son screams for help as you wake up and rush to his room.

As you enter you see him curled at the end of his bed staring at the closet door in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him.

“There’s a monster in the closet.” He says in a quivering voice.

Tired, annoyed and thinking about the big work project you have tomorrow, you tell him monsters don’t exist, open the closet door for him and tell him to go back to bed.

Problem solved right?

No.

Because you still have a terrified son.

But in our context, this is the ideal to strive for.

Make sure you tell the people you’re speaking to, arguing with or that you love that they have no right to feel how they’re feeling.

What matters is what you feel, not them.

If they’re visibly upset about something you’ve done, tell them how ridiculous they’re being and how they should just get over it.

After all, emotions never solved anything right? Especially other people’s emotions.

6.) Passively cancel plans

Make sure you’re a flake.

Be sure to act excited when someone proposes a plan but then cancel either at the last minute or don’t tell them at all you’ve cancelled.

Got an event booked in with a friend but you don’t want to go?

Brilliant.

As you slowly approach the day of the event, gradually cut off contact with your friend and act like you’ve lost your phone.

And as they bombard you with messages such as “are we still on? What time should I pick you up?” Act as if you haven’t seen them.

Then the date of the event will pass, and this is the key trick - don’t speak to them for at least 2 weeks in the hopes they’ll forget about everything and won’t ask you why you bailed.

If you’re lucky, your friendship won’t be that strong anyway and they won’t call you out on it.

Ah! How could I forget, also make sure if you do cancel plans - do it via text message.

7.) Disrespect yourself (and wallow in your self pity)

Finally, don’t make the mistake of just talking about all of your good qualities.

Because remember, we want to ensure people don’t like or respect us.

So on the odd chance you get, make sure you actively talk down on yourself and dance in your self-inflicted misery in hopes the other person will take pity on you.

When something good happens to you, downplay it by saying you don’t deserve it.

Whenever someone compliments you, disagree with them - robbing them of the opportunity to express their gratitude for you.

Destroy the vulnerability of the moment.

And when someone gives you a gift, insist they take it back because again, you don’t deserve it.

Carry yourself like a defeated dog, anxiously seeking the validation of others to tell you you’re not that bad.

Revel in your narcissism, and soak up each bit of assurance others give you that you’re in fact, ok.

And even when they give their arguments for why you’re not that bad, still disagree with them and use it as fuel to further berate yourself.

And with that said, I’m confident if you follow all 7 steps, you’ll have ensured no one likes or respects you.