Prefrontal Cortex, Boundaries & Finitude

Amigos! The big 3 newsletter is here.

• 1 mental health tip
• 1 social skills tip
• 1 personal reflection

Let's dive straight in.

1.) Strengthen your prefrontal cortex

The quality of your life is determined by the strength of your prefrontal cortex.

Let me explain…

The prefrontal cortex is the front part of your brain which accounts for more than 25% of the cerebral cortex (the brain’s outer layer). It’s the latest brain region in our evolution as a species and it’s largely responsible for; personality, attentional focus, decision making, goal setting, problem solving and emotional analysis.

Your pre-frontal cortex is what gets you to do the hard thing when it’s worth doing. Most importantly, it controls the impulses, urges and emotional decision making your older brain regions want you to act upon. Damage, impairment or underdevelopment of the PFC (prefrontal cortex) is a core feature of mental health dysfunctions such as bipolar, schizophrenia, ADHD and PTSD.

Why is this important?

Strengthening your PFC means you’re better able to control your impulses, focus more, achieve your goals, regulate your emotions and engage higher level thinking.

You can boil down most self-improvement advice too; prioritise the long term over the short term. And it’s our PFC that enables us to do so.

Sidenote:

• When you're doom scrolling, your prefrontal cortex has gone offline and the more ancient parts of your brain are now running the show, hence it's incredibly hard to stop.
• But if you were to catch yourself and say "ok, enough, I'm going to stop scrolling and go for a walk" that's your PFC talking.

So how can you strengthen your PFC?

I promise that when researching for this newsletter I’ve tried to find new and sexy ways to improve the functioning of your PFC besides the standard “workout, eat healthy etc.” but the experts all say the same 5 things:

1.) Spend time in presence states

I know you're fed up of being told to meditate, but it works.

Regular mindfulness meditation and breathing exercises have been shown to increase thickness of the prefrontal cortex and improve focus and emotional regulation.

2.) Train, eat, sleep & socialise well

You've heard most of these before, but to run the point home...

• Aerobic Exercise: Activities like running, swimming, or cycling can promote neurogenesis (our brain’s ability to make new neurons) and improve overall brain health.
• Strength Training: Resistance training has also been linked to cognitive improvements.
• Balanced Nutrition: Consume a diet rich in omega-3 fatty acids (found in fish), antioxidants (fruits and vegetables), and whole grains to support brain health.
• Hydration: Stay hydrated, as even mild dehydration can impair cognitive function.
• Quality Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night to support memory consolidation and cognitive function.
• Consistent Schedule: Maintain a regular sleep schedule to help regulate circadian rhythms.
• Engage Socially: Meaningful social interactions can stimulate the prefrontal cortex and improve emotional intelligence.
• Group Activities: Join clubs or groups that encourage teamwork and collaboration.

3.) Do one thing at a time & focus

There's no better way to fry your prefrontal cortex than to multitask. And as the latin writer Pubilius Syrus warned “to do two things at the same time is to do neither”.

So...

• Limit Distractions: Focus on one task at a time to strengthen attention control.
• Digital Detox: Reduce screen time, especially on social media, to minimise cognitive overload.
• Perform all high-friction, high-focus tasks first thing in the morning when you’re most energised.
• Ensure your focus sessions are no longer than 90 minutes with sufficient rest in-between.
• Understand: your focus sessions will acquire 5-10 minutes of acclimatisation before you get into the flow of the activity.

4.) Learn new things

Your prefrontal cortex is best stimulated when you're challenging it by testing your abilities. For example:

• Puzzles and Games: Engage in activities that challenge your brain, such as puzzles, chess, or strategy games.
• Memory Exercises: Practice memory games or apps designed to improve working memory.
• Take Up New Hobbies: Learning a musical instrument, a new language, or a craft can stimulate brain activity and promote neural plasticity (our brain's ability to change it's structure).
• Continuous Education: Consider taking courses, attending workshops or reading intellectual books that challenge you.

Never-stop-learning.

5.) Stress management

It's during stress that your prefrontal cortex becomes most depleted. In fact when another brain region called the amygdala, which is responsible for anxiety/fear/other emotions, goes into over-react mode, it shuts the PFC down. So when this happens, you’ll need at least 20-30 minutes to calm your amygdala down before the PFC can take over again.

Additionally, the prefrontal cortex doesn’t have unlimited energy stores. Like a muscle, it gets tired the more you exert it (which is why willpower is not a good strategy to rely on). So adequate rest is key.

Sidenote:

• The fact our PFC gets tired explains why you succumb to impulses and urges later in the day and not in the morning.

So, to reduce your stress levels:

• Identify Stressors: Recognise sources of stress and develop coping strategies to manage them effectively.
• Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate techniques such as naps, meditation, walking, yoga or breathwork to promote relaxation and mental clarity.
• When you feel anxious, fearful or overwhelmed, set a timer for 20 minutes and focus on calming yourself down so the PFC can take over.

In summary:

• Apply the mind
• Civilise the body
• Connect with presence

Lastly…

Your prefrontal cortex is best engaged when you've set goals and are working towards a long-term vision. And having a long-term vision helps your prefrontal cortex decide what's a distraction and what isn't.

The neuroscientist Gabija Toleikyte says in her book why the fuck can’t I change?:

"No matter how good we are at impulse control, having a lack of clarity in terms of long-term direction can still get us lost in short-term temptations."

So, if you are particularly prone to impulsive behaviour, try to be as clear as possible about how you would like your life to be in five or ten years:

• What would you like to do?
• What would you like to look like and feel like?
• How much money would you like to earn and have in your savings account?
• What kind of relationship or family would you like to have?
• What experiences would you like to have and who would you like to share them with?

The more vividly we can imagine the future we are trying to build, the more it stimulates our reward centres and the easier it is to resist the habits that get in the way.

Strengthen your PFC and your life will improve.

Here's a book I'd recommend if you want to go deeper.

Now let's cover this week's social skills tip...

2.) 8 reasons why people don’t respect your boundaries

This week I finished reading Nedra Glover Tawwab's book set boundaries, find peace, and she outlines 8 reasons why people don't respect your boundaries.

• You don’t take yourself seriously
• You don’t hold people accountable
• You apologise for setting boundaries
• You allow too much flexibility
• You speak in uncertain terms
• You haven’t verbalised your boundaries (they’re all in your head)
• You assume that stating your boundaries once is enough
• You assume that people will figure out what you want and need based on how you act when they violate a boundary

So to solve this issue, simply reverse all the above points:

• Take yourself seriously
• Hold people accountable
• Don't apologise for setting boundaries
• Don't allow too much flexibility
• Speak in clear, certain terms
• Communicate your boundaries as clearly as possible (don't expect others to mind read)
• Don't just state your boundary once, state it each time it's violated
• Prevention is better than cure; communicate your boundaries up front to prevent violations

Remember...

Other people have the right to not like your boundaries. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't set them.

Now let's finalise with the one thing I've personally realised this week...

3.) What it takes to become an expert

You hate the idea of finitude.

The reality that; you don't have an infinite amount of time and, sooner or later, this will all be over.

So what do you do?

You frantically hustle to complete everything on your to do list whilst maintaining the fantasy that you can, in fact, achieve everything you want if only you worked harder.

But you can't.

The reality is...

It takes 7-10 years to become exceptional at anything.

So enact the discipline to choose 2-3 things you’ll become exceptional at for the rest of your life.

Then focus on those things.

And let everything else go.

:)

Thanks for reading.

Until next week,

Lew